I Had it All but Not What I Wanted

Have you ever heard that it take half the length of a relationship up to get over the break up? I have heard that so many times, and I know people who can say that it took them half the time or less to get over their ex and the break up. I don't know if I'm just detached, but I can honestly say I'm completely over it.

I had actually thought about this before and I wondered which break up would be the one that set the rule - the romantic or the friendship. Would it take me 15 months or 3 and half years? I guess it was 15 months.

I've at least come to peace about everything, that's not to say that I'm going to call anyone up for a blissful reunion or anything. I remember the days I would cry when I came across something that reminded me of either of them. I didn't go out to my fire pit and burn all the reminders or anything, but I've moved forward.

It kind of surprises me that some random old wives tale is true, but I'm not going to knock it.

I Had Sworn to Myself That I'm Content

A lot of this blog is mopey, whiny, my-life-is-so-hard crap. I'm pretty okay with that. Everyone needs an outlet, and I suppose this is mine. What I am not okay with is that I haven't written anything smart or thoughtful in quite some time. I could blame this on my mundane classes (Advanced Technical Writing, anyone?) or my mundane job or any number of blah blah blah super whiny crap. I can only blame myself. I haven't gotten very worked up over any current events or ridiculous occurrences in my life that are in any way interesting.

Oh, no! I've gotten boring. I'm just like....everyone else!

I've degraded my life to soap operas, and work, and gossip. This is no way for me to act. I disapprove. If you look to the right, you'll see that so far I've only read 3 books this year. That is an all time low. I've been reading nonstop since I was 4 or 5. No more I say!

I'm definitely going to work on posting things of actual substance instead of some angsty teenager bull.

Can You Feel the Pressure?

46 days until Christmas. I have give or take 30 people I'd like to get gifts for. I think I can swing it if I start buying things now. The problem is I put way too much thought into what I want to get someone. I'd rather get someone nothing than something they wouldn't absolutely love. So I have been studiously researching things for everyone on my list. I know what a few people are getting for sure and then ideas for quite a few more.

There are people I never know what to buy for. My parents for example. I know my mom should get something practical but I know how much she loves sentimental things and my dad is the other way around. He has what he needs (he's pretty simple) but he isn't the sentimental type.

I am making extreme progress on my gift finding though. I'm pretty excited. The internet is a magical gift. Now if I can work enough to get what I want and if I can, then if I could only find the time to go out and buy the stuff. Wrapping is a joke.

I Think We Have an Emergency

IF you post a comment, leave a name or something. I like to know who is reading this. It's cool if you are a stranger, Thank You! I just like to know.

Yes. This means you...yeah you...I can see your comments. Tell me who you are. We should be buds.

or be a jackass like that, you know, its cool.

Second Chances, They Don't Ever Matter. People Never Change

Ok, so most of us are unaware of what I'm about to talk about. I'm not going into details, this is more about how I feel than what actually happened.

2 1/2 ish years ago something happened to me, and I was devastated. Honestly, truthfully, whole-heartedly (or broken-heartedly) devastated. I lost a brother, a best friend, and an ally. He was in all aspects of my life. He was family and friend, protector and counselor. Sure we acted like idiots most of the time, but he had my back. Or so I thought.

I thought, foolishly, that when he got his act together, we would be together again. I was so wrong. He has since cleaned up and grown up and I'm still alone. Sure there are other people in his same position, but they just aren't the same. I see him every so often and wish with everything I am that he would just come over. I want to forgive him, I want to be friends with him again. It kills me everytime I see him that I can't run up and hug him anymore because we are both too stubborn.

May will be the 3rd anniversary of the day we parted ways. If we haven't reconiled by then, I don't know if we ever will. It's making me lonely.