...

You know, everyone gets hurt sometimes. It's just part of life. Life, however, has decided that that's not enough for me. Apparently, I just need to get shat all over and then abandoned and then who knows? Maybe the sun will come out.

I don't know how much more of this I can take before I start having a serious psychological breakdown. I've had enough happen in my life to cover my "bad shit" quota for the next 50 years. I don't understand anything anymore.

• I have no home.
• I have a shitty job.
• That shitty job is supposed to pay for my school, that will be a miracle.
• My entire family acts like I'm some kind of burden.
• I never see my friends anymore.
• I'm seriously scared for my future now.
• I must be the common denominator.
• I don't know where to go or what to do or who I can depend on.

Life is the Longest Death

You know what I've realized? That despite any good intentions or sense of responsibility I might have, I can never EVER do the right thing. It doesn't matter how strong my moral compass is or how hard I work to think for myself. Someone is always there to let me down or tell me off. I know this sounds whiny, but I don't give a shit, it's the God's honest truth.

Everyone is a critic, and everyone will take advantage of you if you give them the chance. So I'm going to be selfish and I'm going to be rash and independent. I'm going to do what I want, when I want and if I decide to let someone know, good for them, if not, tough shit. I don't have to answer to anyone anymore. I'm a motherfucking adult now.

I'll make my own decisions with no concern for anyone else's opinion because everyone has one. Enough people have chosen paths for me in the past and I'm so past done it's not even funny.

I'm tired of being let down.