Everyone's Lookin at You Like They Want to Go Home With You

Every girl at my work loves to tell me all about their lives and who they like and what's going on with them. It's been like that forever. Girls like to talk to me. Girls who barely know me. I'm not sure why, but it happens.

Over the past couple years girls have been telling me that -in varying degrees- they like the guy I'm with now. Before I would just agree with them or remind them that he has a girlfriend or that he is their boss, depending on when they mentioned it.

So now when it happens, I can't help but laugh. I know what it's like to like him and for him to be oblivious. I all but gave up on him before he asked me out. It seems, though, that as soon as we started dating every girl in the building was amorous towards him and felt an enormous compulsion to tell me about it. One girl told me all about how they wanted to sleep with him and how hot he was...EVERYDAY.

We have to keep our relationship hush hush at work or he'll get fired, and I don't want that on my conscience. So these girls tell me all these things that I'm sure they wouldn't if they knew we were going out. I had to tell one girl not to keep saying these things because the other employees would think something was going on between she and him. Awkward.

I'm Not Together but I'm Getting There

Slowly, my emotions are inversing. The ratio of sadness/hurt to happiness is slipping towards the positive. I think I just need to let go. Let go. Let go. I can't make anyone see things my way. I guess it just depends on your frame of mind. It makes me sad that I'll probably lose an old friendship and a newer one too, but sometimes people walk away and you have to let them.

The world doesn't revolve around me, I know that. How could I expect other people to put my emotions before thier own? You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. You have to think of your own happiness before you can make someone else happy. I've said this before and I'll say it again, sometimes you have to be selfish.

However, sometimes being selfish comes with consequences. Those are the things you need to consider. Pros and cons. I understand it can be very tricky. Outside factors and all that.

People make decisions and that's that. You can't change the decisions you've made in the past, you can only affect the ones you are going to make. I choose the path of least resistance. I choose to step back and focus on the things in my life I can be a part of wholly. I will spend time on the things that make me happy. I do spend time on the things that make me happy.

I was the consequence, do not regret me. Do not try to undo what happened or pretend everything is ok. Everything is not ok. Best friends to aquaintances. It's happened before, it'll happen again. I want you to be happy, but I don't think that includes me.

I'm not completely back together, but I'm on my way.