You know what? You can fuck off if you think I'm not worth it. You aren't a man. You are a coward. Why has it taken me so long to figure it out? Years of being let down. Decades of taking the backseat.
I've never looked at you the same way since I found out I was a mistake. You told me that it didn't change the way you felt about me. You loved me. You wanted me. So why has it never felt like that? Any real man would have taken my side. Any real man would show an interest. Any real man would show up.
You know what? A real man did. He didn't have to, but he has been there for me since I was a little girl. He taught me long division. He coached my softball team. He took care of me. Where were you? Yeah he has fucked up a few times, but you have been fucking up my psyche for 22 years. You are why I can't trust people. You are why I'm so critical.
You would think that after your father died you would see our relationship with new eyes. Not really. It's all about you, isn't it? You don't think about me.
You don't think about me. I cry about you.
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