I Tried To Fight It Off

So I went to the doctor yesterday and got some interesting, but not surprising, news. They don't know what's wrong with me. I have this rash all over my feet, legs, hands and elbows and they don't know what to attribute it to. I also have some absesses (sp?) on my legs, but apparently those are just infections so I'm on an antibiotic (Clindamycin) to fix that.

The fun part is, I get to go to a bunch of specialists to figure this mystery rash out. The dermatologist on Monday, the endocrinologist at the end of November (who knew there was such a long wait for one of those?), and the rheumatologist whenever I make the appointment.

The rash isnt even the part I have a problem with. Sure it itches for a few days, but that fades. I just feel so tired and weak. I've never felt weak in my life. It's quite disconcerting. I feel sick, which is new as well. Sure I've felt nauseous from time to time, but that's not what I mean. I feel like my body is trying to fix me and it's annoying. I'm lethargic and my muscles hurt now, which I was supposed to call my doctor if that happened but seeing as it's saturday I'll have to wait until monday.

My mom is being wierd and annoying, but my sister has taken to calling me her "sick angel" and I find that highly amusing.

I guess the only thing I'm hoping for is that when they figure this out, it's not an ailment that will last my entire life. I don't want to have to take medication everyday until I die.

You Make Me Feel Just Like A Child Now

I'm sooooo tired of being disregarded and passed up for oppurtunities. Fuck my life, I'm unhappy. I don't know if this is depression, I'm doubting that. My school just seems.....apathetic. All my friends are gone. I hate my job. My family is a mess. I just can't cope anymore. I think I've put up with this crapfest for long enough. I'm transferring and starting over. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Needle In The Hay

My room is so filled with stuff I have to plan my entrance around high tide. Today is the day, my friends, that I clean it once and for all. Laundry will be done, clothes folded, and actually put in the dresser. Amazing, I know. I'll find the few stray books not on my shelves. I might even get crazy and finish the accent painting around the top. Those stripes won't paint themselves. I can't wait to find all my CDs too. Those that need to be put on my Zune will be, too. I might even make my bed! Holy crap!

P.S. I'm in love. &&& This is the best love song ever. The Luckiest by Ben Folds. It's mesmerizingly beautiful.

These Are Just the Rules and Regulations

I went to Pharmacological and Medical Terminology class today and realized just how unnaturally interested I am in all things medical. That's not to say I wasn't bored to death in class, I just liked the actually valid parts. I can't tell you just how fascinated I was when the diagram of a neuron popped up on the PowerPoint. I learned how antideppressants work and how dopamine works and how if you don't get enough dopamine you can get Parkinsonian symptoms.

I guess people have to go to class to learn in an organized way instead of learning on the job. School is a means to an end.

Some Strange Machines Repeating Beats and Thumping Bass

I think there is something magical about apple tank tops. I own two. Every time I where one, someone says something along the lines of, "I quite enjoy your apple tank top." Which also happens when I wear my strawberry tank. Perhaps fruits and berries have this odd effect on people. I like them.

And, I know this happens to everyone, with few rare exceptions, but my hair is getting so long. I haven't really cut it since April of 2007 when I cut a foot off. By April 2009, it'll be as long as it was when I cut it. Which brings me to the question of whether or not I should keep growing it out. By then it will be so long I won't be able to brush it from top to bottom in one stroke unless my head is upside down, which totally defeats the purpose of brushing.

I'm wearing sweatpants.

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Finally, to the point of my post. I have heard rumors of a magical combination of two of my favorite artists. Ben Folds and Regina Spektor. So basically...



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It's one odd love child, but I like it. Not the video, but the song.

And It Makes Me Smile...

Sometimes I feel bad that I don't blog more often. But no one really reads this. Plus, I have nothing to say today. Well not yet, it's only about 40 minutes into today.

I shouldn't really say that I have nothing to say. Clearly I've already said something. Everything else I could say isn't entirely exciting/upbeat so I'm choosing to leave it out in an attempt to make this a happier blog.

Also, I miss going to concerts. I'll have to do that soon.