I know it sounds selfish that I want people to be proud of me. I never felt the need to impress anyone, but when you are there for someone through their drama and successes you expect it back. That's called friendship. So when I got this new job that was a really big deal to me, I thought that certain people would be interested and supportive. I was wrong. It's like it doesn't even register to them that this is a big deal. Not all of us want to be famous. I don't need my ego fluffed, I just want a reciprocal friendship. I don't think that's a lot to ask. Especially since I coddle people's emotions all the time. Maybe I don't need to coddle them. Maybe if I stop they will see there are other people in the world with goals and feelings. Just because those things are different doesn't mean they are wrong, either.
I am really enjoying this new job, but it's like my house fell apart while I was there. No one did any dishes for a week. Not one. The dishwasher doesn't work if you don't turn it on. No one cleaned anything. I work 7 days a week now and I'm not going to have the time or energy to clean constantly like I did before. It might not have even looked like I was, but I was. It's part of growing up that you have to contribute to your little group. I don't understand why it's only me doing these things.
I feel like a burden when I have to get a ride to or from work, but I do some dropping off and picking up too. Then I come home and do a week's worth of dishes and laundry all the while fuming about the lack of recognition or interest.
I'm worth something. I contribute. I try so hard and I feel like no one gives a shit.
Instead of being proud of me for getting a job I worked hard to get, it's like everyone just sees it as a lower expense for them.
I'm worth something.
I'm worth something.
I'm worth something.
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