When Will it Stop?

Ok, so I have this problem with saying no. I don't like to let people down so I tend to pile a lot on my plate without thinking. Like I posted before, I got a full time job. I also took on a side job at a podiatrist office on my days off so I could get some experience in the field.

It turns out this podiatrist needs some new forms and documents made up because hers are out of date. I volunteered my layout skills and my new software for the job.

Later, my boyfriend's mom got to talking with me (for the first real time) about how her friends are doing an opera and how she's doing the costumes and can I sew? So like an idiot (or a girl looking for her boyfriend's mother's approval) I told her about my costume experience and how I have my own machine. So she delegates a few costumes to me.

Don't forget, I am still in school. None of this would be a problem if I didn't have to worry about my family. We just had a death in the family and I want to be with them to make sure they are ok. Also, I just learned that one of my high school classmates died tragically.

Both of these deaths have had different effects on me. My step-grandma's death was bittersweet. She suffered for so long, both physically and emotionally. I know she was never the same after her husband died and then her long battles with mental illness and physical illness took their toll. Now she is back with her husband and out of pain. What really pains me about all of this is how her children and immediate family are acting.

You would think that they are looking to blame her death on each other when it was really just her time. They all want control over the little things instead of comforting each other in this time.

Then there is my high school classmate. He was such a sweet, personable guy. His death could have been 100% prevented. It just goes to show how fragile our lives really are. He was so young, and I am completely shocked.

As if that wasn't enough, but my boyfriend was attacked by his brother for no reason. I think his brother is a little paranoid. I keep making him come over because I don't want him around his brother. He has enough on his plate with a medical mystery, he doesn't need a psycho beating on him every other day.

I'm a touch overwhelmed.

Your Father, He Said He Needs You. Your Mother, She Said She Loves You. Your Brothers, They Echo the Words.

Well that was an angry post. I'm just worn out. I like living out here, but driving to school and to work is pretty taxing. The Fiero won't start which is also kind of any issue. haha. The thing is, it's quiet here. I see my dad pretty often, which I missed. I think I need a list.

Cons for Dad's house:

• Far from work.
• Far from school.
• Far from my mom's family.
• Far from Alex.
• Fiero is not working and my dad is not very sure why.

Pros for Dad's house: (I wrote "prose" at first, I laughed)

• Quiet.
• No one in my business all the time.
• I get to spend time with my brothers, I missed them.
• DAD
• I'm finding locations out here for my company to open stores. ($2,000 finders fee! each!)
• Close to my dad's family.
• Alex understands.
• My dad will fix the Fiero. Maybe find me a new car?

I wish my families didn't live so far apart. My mom said she is signing a lease on Monday so I could "come home" if I wanted to. I want to bring my company out here and I want to be successful at something. My dad told my stepmom that me living here is temporary, but I kind of want to stay indefinitely. I love my dad and my brothers, and I miss them because I can never get out here when I live at my mom's. I'm pretty torn now.