Rest Will Find Us, We Belong Here

It's Friday afternoon, and today is looking mildly tolerable. I broke out a bottle of sparkling cider and split it with my seven year old brother. For a bit I was wallowing in self pity and angst on the whole college thing. I really want to get a yes, but I'm scared. Then I went out to check on my brother and....a tickle fight ensued. Yeah I'm a grown up. Wierd how playing with a little kid
can make all your worries go away. Or maybe it's just me. haha. I guess it just put alot of things in perspective.

"Children are life." - Denzel Washington

I think he was right. Is it going to end my life if I dont get into the school I want? no. Will I be sad? of course. I still have him, I still have my family and my mind and what else do I really need? It's just that time of year when everyone freaks about Christmas presents and New Year's kisses and that's all fun and good. I dont know, sure I posted about commercialism but I didnt forget about family and all the important stuff that is idealized by the holiday season.

Now that all the stress is over and I can have a relaxing last semester and really enjoy myself like I havent been able to for a long time. For the first time in a long time, I'm looking forward with actual stress-free happiness. I have my friends, my job, my life and I'm happy with it all.

Everytime this happens, it is subsequently followed by a period of extreme stress and anxiety like, for example, how you would feel moving away from your family to a huge school and knowing no one. However, I choose to ignore this inevitability and proceed blindly forth with a false sense of security for 7 more months of ignorant bliss. yay!

AH HA! I had a bit of a revelation!

so today as I'm walking in the cold towards my car and contemplating how I'm going to avoide slipping, a red VW Jetta rolls up next to me and honks. Guess who it is? It's Gracie, my ex parking spot buddy. Oh how I've missed her witty-angsty-have-a-good-time attitude. I'm like, "yes no walking!" So I get in and in the 3 minutes it takes to get to my car, I realize just how much I love my friends. I mean sure its nice to get a ride to my car in the cold, but seriously, what the frick would i do without them? I have maybe 7 months left before we scatter across the country. Sooooooo, this means I'm gonna have to spend all my waking time having fun with them. (starting in january, there aint no way in hell I have time now haha)

There is that core group of girls that I tell almost anything to. Some are staying close, some are going as far as California and Florida. Last year we had going away parties and pool get togethers for our graduating friends, and this year its our turn. I always thought it was not big deal when the seniors got all teary because they are coming back on breaks right? I know I'm gonna be the most emotional one. haha. oh well. Now I realize I'm going to be making all new friends in less than a year, but that's never been a problem for me. I just have to make sure to keep the old ones.

excuse to party? oh I think so!