About a Girl

Recently, my sister dyed my hair. Somehow after nearly 3 years of trying, I have finally settled on a color I love. My natural one.

The first time I dyed my hair was ill advised. I tried for blonde and then got talked into these preposterous highlights. I was going through some huge changes in my life and I think this was one of the manifestations of that. Since then, I tried going back to natural only to dye again. I did have something kind of red going for a while too.

So I decided I was fed up with the seesawing and had my sister dye the colored part of my hair as close to natural as we guessed we could using drugstore dye. It worked. It is (almost) perfectly matched. You could only tell the difference if you were looking for it.

That is symbolic for my feelings about my life right now, but I won't say why. :P

I'm Coming Over

Something big has happened. I've been talking about it for a long time. It makes me really happy. It will be a bit of an adjustment and I know it will require some work, but I'm glad it has happened. I moved in with my boyfriend. :)

He lives in a house his father owns with two of his friends. It is definitely a fixer upper, but I relish in the challenge. In fact, I caulked the shower last night! Once that sets, I'll do the other bathroom as well. My biggest foe is really the wallpaper. It's atrocious! Most of the house has this thatched fabric-y wallpaper straight out of 1975. I'm going to start in the master bathroom because it's small, has ugly wallpaper and will be a good place to test out the supplies I bought.

There is a hole in the living room ceiling from the plumber checking the pipes. They were fine, but he realized our handy man didn't caulk the bathtub after he put in new tile. Bush league. The handy man is a topic for another day, he infuriates me.

Moving has really taken it out of me, but I'm still excited. I want to do everything that needs to be done today. It seems, however, that the boys are much less motivated than I am. I was talking to one last night and he said that having the railing in the stairwell lying on the stairs didn't bother him. There are exposed, sharp nails!

Sometimes men confuse me.

You are Ivory and Wire and Pearls

I went to the orthodontist, and it's been officially decided I'm getting braces. Yeah, I'll be the coolest 21 year old with braces that you know! My ortho said I could either go with traditional braces or I could go with invisalign.

I am a little torn between them for a few simple reasons. Traditional braces is faster and more accurate, but invisalign is as close to invisible that I'll be able to get. I think I'm siding with traditional just for the practicality of them. I won't be able to take them off like I would invisalign. I am the kind of person who would take them off and leave them off or forget.

I'm a little concerned about paying for them. There are a few options, but I don't foresee any of them working out well with my parents lack of ability at budgeting. I hope I'm wrong because I am really sick of these damn spaced out teeth.

I Had it All but Not What I Wanted

Have you ever heard that it take half the length of a relationship up to get over the break up? I have heard that so many times, and I know people who can say that it took them half the time or less to get over their ex and the break up. I don't know if I'm just detached, but I can honestly say I'm completely over it.

I had actually thought about this before and I wondered which break up would be the one that set the rule - the romantic or the friendship. Would it take me 15 months or 3 and half years? I guess it was 15 months.

I've at least come to peace about everything, that's not to say that I'm going to call anyone up for a blissful reunion or anything. I remember the days I would cry when I came across something that reminded me of either of them. I didn't go out to my fire pit and burn all the reminders or anything, but I've moved forward.

It kind of surprises me that some random old wives tale is true, but I'm not going to knock it.

Do Work, Son

I want to share a very monumental moment in my life. I got my first, for real, full-time job. 40 hours a week, every week for the forseeable future. I'm thrilled. My paychecks are going to be the same every week. I can budget and save for the future.

I can also still go to school. I am so happy. I wasn't really looking for something new, but my old job was giving me very inconsistant hours despite my very consistant work. My friend told me that his brother was hiring for a full-time position and he told me to e-mail my resume so I did. I got the call for an interview. Honestly, I didn't think it went that great. It was the first interview I've had that they didn't offer me the job at the end.

I patiently waited and about a week later I got the call that I'd been hired. I was trembling I was so nervous to put my 2 weeks in. I felt bad because most of the staff at my old job was still new. I didn't want to leave them scrambling for shift leaders. My manager understood that this was the move I needed to make at this point in my life.

So far, I've had one hour of training, but I can't wait to really get started. I finally feel like I'm moving forward.

This Feeling Never Leaves Me Alone

I come with good news, a rare but much appreciated occurence in the PPBG world. My mother and my stepdad have both gotten legitimate salaried jobs. My mom is now the Director of Audio Visual at a large ski resort and my stepdad is an inside salesman at an international company that owns many smaller companies, one of which sells metal.

As usual, my parents have started fantasizing about all the things they can afford now. A better car. My long promised laptop. My tuition. Braces for all of us. I am excited about our new stability, but it's a cautious excitement.

I don't think I'm emotionally stable enough to get my hopes dashed again. I talked to my mom about letting me try my hand at budgeting because, to be honest, I think I could do a better job than they could. She knows it too, but she said no. "Some things you just don't want your kids to know," she said.

I am happy and nervous, but ready to enjoy a little stability for once.

In The Mood

In my psych class, we learned about the nature of males and females. That girls try harder to be people pleasers at a very early age. It's actually why we are better at communicating than males. We speak because it makes people happy. Males are less caring about pleasing others so they do what they want - explore. That's why males crawl and walk faster. Women can recognize emotion before they even recognize that it's a face they are looking at. All in order to figure out how best to make the person happy, or to maintain their happiness. I think this is pretty accurate. I find myself basing decisions off of what other people (might) think. I want to make people happy all the time.

It's definitely something that everyone, male or female, does. I think it's mostly a subconscious thing, though. We live in a time when everyone has to be unique. Individuality is stressed as well as excellence. We are all supposed to shine.

But why is that? In earlier time in this past century, conformity was key. When women broke a few glass ceilings here and there there was more competition in the workforce and that competition now contained massive amounts of people pleasers. As a result, well all have to fight to shine because as women fill positions that men once held and men have to adapt to our natural disposition. It's all quite ironic.

Take A Bow

I need a new job! A real job! I'm sick of minimum wage and crappy work environments!