Mr. Bojangles

I knew a man Bojangles and he danced for you in worn out shoes
With silver hair, a ragged shirt and baggy pants, the old soft shoe
He jumped so high, he jumped so high, Then he lightly touched down
I met him in a cell in New Orleans, I was - down and out
He looked at me to be the eyes of age as he spoke right out
He talked of life, he talked of life, he laughed, slapped his leg a step
Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance!
He said his name, Bojangles, then he danced a lick across the cell
He grabbed his pants a better stance, oh, he jumped up high, Then he clicked his heels
He let go a laugh, he let go a laugh, Shook back his clothes all around
Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance!
He danced for throws at minstrel shows and county fairs
Through out the south
He spoke with tears of fifteen years how his dog and him
Had traveled about
His dog up and died, he up and died, after twenty years he still grieves
He said I dance now at every chance in honky tonks
For drink and tips
But most of the time I spend behind these county bars
'Cause I drinks a bit'
He shook his head and as he shook his head I heard someone ask him
`Please'Please ..........
Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance!
Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance!

Genius Only Comes Along in Storms of Fabled Foreign Tongues

Today I wore polka dot socks. I really like them. When I grow up, will I still be allowed to wear them? Because they freakin win.

I figured out how to use the awesome notebook I bought.

Beating Heart, Baby

To update you my lovlies, today I took a mental health day. Basically woke up, drove my stepdad to the train, came home, went back to bed. I woke up a little later and decided I wouldn't be going to school today. I got back out of bed, drove my sister to her ride's house and went back home. I lazied about on the couch for a few hours and then decided (I have no idea why) to watch Something's Got To Give.

It was great.

After about a thousand people asking me why I wasn't at school and the movie, I took a shower. This shower, so impossibly amazing, got me thinking. If you've seen the movie I just mentioned, you might know why. Anywho, I was thinking. About life. Not the whole thing, but one aspect.

As you grow up, your parents (most likely) raise you. What does that mean, to be raised? They shape you and mold you and make you into who they think you should be. This is not only acceptable, but expected.

But then, as you get older, you start searching for other people. Friends. Lovers. What have you. This is where the rules change. No longer are other people allowed to try to mold you or change you. They should just accept you for the unique person you are. Right?

They don't though. Everyone has expectations they hold other people to. Everyone is influential whether it's intentional or subconcious. What if they say they accept you for who you are, if they believe it themselves, and then it turns out even they didn't know themselves well enough? They do want you to change. What if they don't like your pace or your choices? What do you do?

Is it that we spend our lives looking for someone who wants what we want or for someone who can accept what we want?

Haven't You Heard That I'm the New Cancer?

Think about it.

Oh, Canada

My breif piece of history. I'm Irish and a touch English, those blokes traveled to Prince Edward Island so now my sister is convinced she is Canadian, they came to good ole US of A. Then muuuuch later my great grandpa Hugo came to the US from Sweden. Yeah, I'm cool like that. Knowing my history.

Oh, Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy.

This post isn't meant to be a downer, I feel much better than my last post. It just seems to me that everyone who shouldn't break up is and everyone who should isn't. It makes zero sense to me.

My friends both just got dumped, and from what I could tell, they had been happy just days before. My family, however, has this huge rift and I'm way too cowardly to say anything about it. I'm honestly concerned about my mother's happiness right now. More later, I suppose.

Perfect Situation

I'm in a terrible mood. There is no other way around that. My mom is pissing me off, my sister doesn't care about anyone but herself, and there are a whole myriad of additional things that make me want to punch someone, anyone, solidly in the face and then go to bed. Perhaps for days.

I don't want to be touched.
I don't want to talk.
I don't want to go out.
I don't want to feel better.
I want to be angry for a while.

Move Bitch! Get Out the Way!

So here I am after school waiting for someone to do some crap for an extracurricular and I'm messing around online when my good friend Stephanie asks me quite the interesting question.

"Do you say biznitch?"
"ummm, on occasion?"
"It just seems like something you would say."

This is my life. I say biznitch and enjoy making plans with my grandma to get wasted in Canada. w00t.

I Know One Day We Will Sleep For Days

I had some massivly fricked up dreams last night.

1. I kiss a tall blonde guy, but no, not the one you are thinking of. Not any of you. You are all wrong. It was totally uncalled for. I was reading in bed this morning and wham! I remembered it. It was actually kind of funny because he told me I did it wrong.
2. This other dream wasn't bad at all, it was just odd. I must be reading way too much. I was in the car with my mom and she pulls up to this house I've never seen before and we go in and there is the guy I like and his whole family. Turns out he and his sister are some...I don't really know the word for it. Like not human......I don't know...spirit things....guardians sorta....I'm as lost as you are. My mother totally loves the lot of them and is mad I never told her. Yeah we know where this dream is going.

Second Chances, They Don't Ever Matter. People Never Change

Ok, so most of us are unaware of what I'm about to talk about. I'm not going into details, this is more about how I feel than what actually happened.

2 1/2 ish years ago something happened to me, and I was devastated. Honestly, truthfully, whole-heartedly (or broken-heartedly) devastated. I lost a brother, a best friend, and an ally. He was in all aspects of my life. He was family and friend, protector and counselor. Sure we acted like idiots most of the time, but he had my back. Or so I thought.

I thought, foolishly, that when he got his act together, we would be together again. I was so wrong. He has since cleaned up and grown up and I'm still alone. Sure there are other people in his same position, but they just aren't the same. I see him every so often and wish with everything I am that he would just come over. I want to forgive him, I want to be friends with him again. It kills me everytime I see him that I can't run up and hug him anymore because we are both too stubborn.

May will be the 3rd anniversary of the day we parted ways. If we haven't reconiled by then, I don't know if we ever will. It's making me lonely.

Everybody's Gonna Love Today, Love Today, Love Today

I'm doing laundry and I think I just might have found the cure for everything. I know, I know, you are very welcome. No charge, I assure you. Just go do your laundry. and blog. Do that too. It feels great. Laundry and blogs. Jesus. Crack. yeah.......

Seriously, what else do we need in life more than clean underwear and getting our thoughts out of our brains? not much, that's what. psh, food is for losers. Sure my room still looks like I sleep with pigs, but do I care? Not at all because I have clean clothes and you know what I think about it. Genius. :D

Narcissism!

Changed up the look today. I'll probably be playing around with it for a while. I would love love love thoughts and ideas, if you dont mind. Comment at will.

Is it too white? I'm concerned.