Born Free, As Free As the Wind Blows

Ok, this is it. I'm fresh out of high school. 30 mins fresh. Graduation is just a superficial gift to the people who paid $30,000 over the course of 4 years so I could go to school.

Happiness is a Warm Gun

I'm beyond ready to get the hell out of my house. I need some money and some roomies and then a dash of freeedom. That's right, 3 e's. Excellent, eccentric, and maybe eggs.

I think we can both agree that this week is slowly ending my abilities to have thought. Send Diet Coke.

*angsty sigh*

Left Me No Choice But To Stay

I see this kid everyday. I noticed him a while back and I find him absolutly intriguing. No, I've never met him and I don't know his name. I just can't help but notice him; which is completly not what he wants. I can tell. The way he dresses, the way he acts. He looks like he just wants to fall into the walls and be left alone, unnoticed. By and large he is unnoticed because he is an underclassmen. The thing is, he is so beautiful. Handsome would be the wrong word here. He is just beautiful in the most honest sense of the word. I'm not attracted to him, but I just want to know about him. I know it sounds really wierd, but I can't explain it any better than this.

The Beautiful People

I kind of want my tongue pierced.


But I have lots of body mod whims like that.


But I liiiiiike it.


hmm.


EDIT: I think I just like being pierced. And taking my parents right to that comfortable-uncomfortable line. Mostly I like the getting pierced part though. It feels....good?

I'm not a masochist, I swear!

I Think We Have an Emergency

IF you post a comment, leave a name or something. I like to know who is reading this. It's cool if you are a stranger, Thank You! I just like to know.

Yes. This means you...yeah you...I can see your comments. Tell me who you are. We should be buds.

or be a jackass like that, you know, its cool.

To Where You Are

Today the world lost a great asset. That's all there is to it.

One of the greatest teachers my school has ever seen died this morning after being ill on and off for years. He was my freshmen year homeroom teacher, his last homeroom. I dont know why, but he took a liking to me that year. Ever since if he saw me in the hallway he would say, "How's it goin' Kate?" He was the only teacher who I ever told to called me that after the first time I asked him to. It took them time to get to know me, but he made sure he pinned me the first day and I respect that. He never missed a beat either. If I was having an off day, he always made sure to talk to me. He was a caring man, and alot of people didnt realize that. He came off so gruff and angry that few people saw the guardian that he was. Everything that man did was all for someone else. I never saw him do one selfish thing in four years. If you were slipping in his class he made sure you caught up, if you were doing well he made sure you knew he knew.

Losing him is going to be one of the greatest losses this institution has or will ever face. There are no replacements, no equals. He cared with every bone in his intimidating, loving body. He was a coach, a mentor, a teacher, an ally and a friend. I will miss him and I know how much the incoming freshmen will be missing out on.

I decided I'm not going to cry or fall apart. He wouldnt have thought that was right. Maybe I should just go sit on someone in his memory. :D

There's Things You Need to Hear

I (am):

1. Female, I think this explains alot.
2. 5'8"
3. Brunette?
4. Blue-eyed
5. Emotional. Alot of the time. Do I hide it well?
6. Always thinking. Much more than I talk, so you can imagine how much that is.
7. Secretive.
8. Ambitious.
9. Lazy.
10. Conflicting.
11. Relational.
12. Sassssssssy.
13. Love everyone, way too much, even if they don't deserve it.
14. Judge people in my mind, but when others do it verbally, I defend the victim. I feel this justifies it sometimes.
15. All I want to do is be myself.
16. Want others to always be honest, even if it would hurt me. Because I have to know.
17. Like to know everything.
18. Obnoxious, endearing?
19. Care about you.
20. Want to break all the rules, but I never break one.
21. Don't watch TV anymore.
22. Work at a movie theatre. I hate it most of the time, but I can't leave my friends. I have no hope of being promoted.
23. Love kids.
24. Have a look in my eye.
25. Seem more clever than I am, or vastly less intelligent than I am. No one really comprehends my mental capacities.

If you think of any more things about me, comment them. I Love To Know. (#16)

She Said, My Boy, It's a Dagger

Today:

1. I feel like crap.
2. I'm in a good mood.
3. I'm as lost as you are.
4. School is actually good for something. It's a magical distraction. Without it, I keep thinking of all the things I don't really care to think about.
5. This is what dance is coming to. It starts in Europe. It'll be here soon. Tektonik and then Jumpstyle.

I mostly posted the second one because I like the song.

Mr. Bojangles

I knew a man Bojangles and he danced for you in worn out shoes
With silver hair, a ragged shirt and baggy pants, the old soft shoe
He jumped so high, he jumped so high, Then he lightly touched down
I met him in a cell in New Orleans, I was - down and out
He looked at me to be the eyes of age as he spoke right out
He talked of life, he talked of life, he laughed, slapped his leg a step
Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance!
He said his name, Bojangles, then he danced a lick across the cell
He grabbed his pants a better stance, oh, he jumped up high, Then he clicked his heels
He let go a laugh, he let go a laugh, Shook back his clothes all around
Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance!
He danced for throws at minstrel shows and county fairs
Through out the south
He spoke with tears of fifteen years how his dog and him
Had traveled about
His dog up and died, he up and died, after twenty years he still grieves
He said I dance now at every chance in honky tonks
For drink and tips
But most of the time I spend behind these county bars
'Cause I drinks a bit'
He shook his head and as he shook his head I heard someone ask him
`Please'Please ..........
Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance!
Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles
Mr. Bojangles, dance!

Genius Only Comes Along in Storms of Fabled Foreign Tongues

Today I wore polka dot socks. I really like them. When I grow up, will I still be allowed to wear them? Because they freakin win.

I figured out how to use the awesome notebook I bought.

Beating Heart, Baby

To update you my lovlies, today I took a mental health day. Basically woke up, drove my stepdad to the train, came home, went back to bed. I woke up a little later and decided I wouldn't be going to school today. I got back out of bed, drove my sister to her ride's house and went back home. I lazied about on the couch for a few hours and then decided (I have no idea why) to watch Something's Got To Give.

It was great.

After about a thousand people asking me why I wasn't at school and the movie, I took a shower. This shower, so impossibly amazing, got me thinking. If you've seen the movie I just mentioned, you might know why. Anywho, I was thinking. About life. Not the whole thing, but one aspect.

As you grow up, your parents (most likely) raise you. What does that mean, to be raised? They shape you and mold you and make you into who they think you should be. This is not only acceptable, but expected.

But then, as you get older, you start searching for other people. Friends. Lovers. What have you. This is where the rules change. No longer are other people allowed to try to mold you or change you. They should just accept you for the unique person you are. Right?

They don't though. Everyone has expectations they hold other people to. Everyone is influential whether it's intentional or subconcious. What if they say they accept you for who you are, if they believe it themselves, and then it turns out even they didn't know themselves well enough? They do want you to change. What if they don't like your pace or your choices? What do you do?

Is it that we spend our lives looking for someone who wants what we want or for someone who can accept what we want?

Haven't You Heard That I'm the New Cancer?

Think about it.