Take A Bow

I need a new job! A real job! I'm sick of minimum wage and crappy work environments!

Silly Me for Thinking Honesty is Something Given Free

I find myself less and less able to lie when I want/have to. I've always been able to lie, totally believable every time. I suppose I should mention I hate lying, but am able to do it when the need arises. Maybe I'm tired of it. Lies take a wierd toll on my emotional balance.

It seems that lies and emotions are very closely tied, for me anyways. There is that little thrill when someone believes your lie or the dread that someone will find out you lied. Maybe I'm not cut out to deal with that. I like the care-free feeling of absolute honesty. I like telling my mom I need some "Katie time" or that "No, Becca, I don't want to shadow you while you shop so that you don't feel alone in a packed store. I don't have money or time to waste here." I think people think I get mean or catty, but that's not it at all. I want to be truthful. I want an honest life. I'm honest with everyone and I expect it back.

Are those expectations too high?

I have this list in my mind of all the pressing things I need to get done. I check them off as they are finished and it feels great. I finally got that list done when I realized that there are still things I need to do. I need to end all my lies. It kills me to lie anymore. I don't want to keep them up anymore. Maybe I'm being selfish, changing situations on people who think they have it all figured out. Sometimes, however, you have to take care of yourself first.

I Will Remember You

Hello my loves, I've just gotten back from a very long day that followed a very long trip. Try to keep up.

I left on June 27th for the U.P. of Michigan. I drove all the way up through Wisconsin with my brother, sister and neighbor in 7ish hours. That, my friends, is amazing timing. Of course, my brother refused to (but finally did) stop for our 3 ready-to-burst bladders, but I think that was just for the sake of amusement. And he was running out of gas. We spent a good hour driving up and down county (I'm not sure which) 480 looking for the cabin our family rented because my stepmom in the other car was about 3 hours behind us. I finally had to find out from a cute old couple that was walking thier miniscule dog. It was right in front of us. Poop.

We look around for a hide-a-key and then the old guy goes, "Is it open?" All I'm thinking is, "Who leaves an empty house unlocked for long periods of time?" Apparently the guy we rented it from does. It is the U.P. after all. So we break in and dibs our rooms and settle in for a few hours of teenage chillaxing before the brigade shows up. A few hours later my stepmom, little brother, aunt, uncle and cousin show up to make a total of 9 people in an 8 person cabin. Not too bad right? It'll get better later, trust me.

The next day everyone gets up at the crack of dawn for breakfast. I'm not quite sure why because it's vacation and I just assumed sleeping in was a prerequisite of not being at home. It's all for the best because our cabin was equidistant from all the stuff we wanted to do, the only wrench in the engine of that plan is that everything we wanted to do was at least an hour in any given direction. But I digress... We all pack up and pile into my aunt's Excursion to go to (it's a mouthful) Kitchitikipi. It's a spring that has some kind of acid in it that prevents alot of growth so you can see straight to the bottom. There is a raft with the middle cut out of it that travels along a rope across the lake. Here, take a look.

I took a video of it, but I have to wait for my stepmom to email it to me, I'll be sure to post it because I thought it was beautiful, maybe you will too.

Throughout the trip we visited a few waterfalls, but by far my favorite was (another mouthful) Tahquamenon Falls, particularly the lower falls. Although the upper falls are beautiful, the lower falls are more entertaining because we swim in them. You go down to the concessions and rent a row boat to take out to die island and from there we walk to where we get in. It's so much fun to walk out to the falls and climb through into this little, natural, wet shelf behind the water and be invisible to everything outside. We just crawl down to the bigger fall and jump out and slide down the river a bit. (I did convince everyone with me that I lost my bottoms when I jumped out). Brilliant. It's nature's little waterpark.

We go into the falls on the right where they aren't so huge. If you were to walk around the island there are another set of falls that you can climb up, then on the left are the bigger ones that I did climb down a few years ago, but not this trip.

My brother was driving us (Me, Becca, my neighbor) to get the fireworks on our way to see Hancock and nearly rolled Trailblazer with all of us in it. Miraculously, a nice Yooper with an F-250 pulled us out and then refused the money we offered him. We subsequentally picked up $500 worth of fireworks and saw our movie.

I did some shopping while I was up there and I purchased some, let's say, interesting items:

• One 118 year old Swedish bible. It has a picture of Martin Luther in the front so I'm assuming it's not the Catholic bible.
• A ceramic, although I originally thought it was wood, squirrel who I name Mr. Nuttington and was subsequently renamed Professor Nuttington. He had a Wii accident and had to be glued. Darn Uncle Larry.
• A Claddagh ring that I, as an Irish woman, was in desperate need of. It's on my right hand facing out, just in case you were wondering boys. wink wink.
• These awesome old sewing patterns that I found at an antique store (pretty much a barn full of old stuff).

Today, I did something somewhat stupid. I might have created a small fire. Maybe. I was preheating the oven for my cousins I watch and I didn't realize that my uncle stores stuff in his oven. Mostly cookie sheets and glass cookware, but the killer was a plastic platter. It caught fire while I was in the bathroom and when I got out the oven was spewing smoke. I got the kids and the dogs out of the house and called 911 and my uncle (who didn't answer) and waited.

The kids were so excited, they waved the firemen over and weren't scared at all. The firemen were really friendly too - petting the dogs, giving the kids stickers- I was impressed. All the neighbors came over to check on us, or find out what happened more likely. I sent the kids over to my house with my sister while I cleaned up a bit. The firemen tracked soot everywhere. The only damage was to the oven itself so that was good.

All in all, the last week and a half has been long and dramatic and I'm happy to be home.

Checkmarks

I'm such an idiot.

Another Turning Point

I've realized today that this little portion of my life, this summer, is the doorway. I'm not in high school or college. I'm crossing that threshhold in my life. Obviously it's not the only one, and I'm not the only one in one. It's just wierd to be totally undefined by an institution, even for a short period of time.

Now If She Does It Like This Will You Do It Like That?

I've noticed that when you go through one major life milestone people start to ask about all your other ones. Probably because these are cause for reconnection. Since my recent graduation people have been peppering me with questions.

1. Where are you going?
2. What are you studying?
3. Why? Why? Why?
4. What do you want to do?
5. Why do you have so much attitude?
6. So are you engaged yet? (interesting, to me anyway)
7. Do you have a boyfriend?
8. Do you have a job?
9. Where?
10. How much do you make?
11. Why are you still there?

What sort of rights do they think they have? I find it quite interesting that people I rarely or never talk to feel themselves to be worthy of the details of my life. Oh and it gets better. They have an opinion on all of it. That's the kicker.

Sometimes I wonder if somewhere someone decided I owe some allegiance to these people. Like I have to pay them a tithing of my life. Like they have some kind of ownership of me. Obviously human beings are relational and perhaps they are trying to cultivate some kind of rapport with me, but when I tell them all of this and they form an opinion, it's all for nothing. They go home after the cake and presents and forget or write off the events of the day. Or even better. They pass on everything to people I am 100% sure I have no ties to. Days later, I get some report from my mom of my aunt's coworker's daughter's life and how it relates to mine and what I should do similarly/differently to hers.

I know what you are waiting for, though. You want the answers too, right? Of course, human beings are curious. So here goes.

1. Harper College
2. Something math related, or science.
3. I'm good at it.
4. I want to be a doctor one day.
5. It's both a defense mechanism and a source of entertainment for me.
6. No. Although that would make my life so Days of our Lives it's not even funny.
7. Nope. Not for lack of effort.
8. Yeah.
9. A movie theatre.
10. $7.50 an hour.
11. How should I know? My friends I guess.

Why Won't You Have ... Me?

You Know:

S.O.S. Please, Someone Help Me

Ok, if you've ever seen Dane Cook's bit about the DMV, you'll understand the last 3 hellish days of my life. Just in case you haven't seen it, I'll provide it. You know that feeling he describes at about 57 seconds? Yeah. Imagine that for about 8 hours.




It's over and I'm $436.50 richer for 3 days of work. When they ask me to come back next year, I'm just going to throw my head back, laugh, and hang up. No Second Thoughts.

Without the Sour the Sweet Wouldn't Taste

Alright school's officially out and I've lost that "Leaping Lizards, It's Summer" feeling. That's not to say I'm unhappy with my summer, I'm just being much more responsible than I envisioned. For example, I have a 40+ hour work week, but I get to play with kids all day. Crazy kids, but kids none the less. Or. It's hot as hades outside, but the storms are so wonderful I could lay out in the rain for hours.

Also, I've discovered that cleaning is very cathartic. I've never enjoyed organizing so much in my entire life. In this magical sea of discoveries, I've also noticed that I have way too many shoes. It's nearing disgusting. They are all, of course, beautiful shoes, but there are just so many. I've created quite the Goodwill pile as well. Lots of clothes. Not nasty old gross clothes, alot of them are nearly brand new. Which disgusts me even more that I never wore them. Some thrifty cool person will buy them and enjoy them, I'm sure.

In addition, I have sunburn. It doesn't hurt, but it does feel like it's officially completely summer. So tommorow I'll have some sweet tan lines and feel all teenagery. Speaking of, I need some teenager time. I am either surrounded by kids or adults. Where are all my peeps?

Party tommorow! I need to go clean...pish.

Born Free, As Free As the Wind Blows

Ok, this is it. I'm fresh out of high school. 30 mins fresh. Graduation is just a superficial gift to the people who paid $30,000 over the course of 4 years so I could go to school.

Happiness is a Warm Gun

I'm beyond ready to get the hell out of my house. I need some money and some roomies and then a dash of freeedom. That's right, 3 e's. Excellent, eccentric, and maybe eggs.

I think we can both agree that this week is slowly ending my abilities to have thought. Send Diet Coke.

*angsty sigh*

Left Me No Choice But To Stay

I see this kid everyday. I noticed him a while back and I find him absolutly intriguing. No, I've never met him and I don't know his name. I just can't help but notice him; which is completly not what he wants. I can tell. The way he dresses, the way he acts. He looks like he just wants to fall into the walls and be left alone, unnoticed. By and large he is unnoticed because he is an underclassmen. The thing is, he is so beautiful. Handsome would be the wrong word here. He is just beautiful in the most honest sense of the word. I'm not attracted to him, but I just want to know about him. I know it sounds really wierd, but I can't explain it any better than this.