Move Bitch! Get Out the Way!

So here I am after school waiting for someone to do some crap for an extracurricular and I'm messing around online when my good friend Stephanie asks me quite the interesting question.

"Do you say biznitch?"
"ummm, on occasion?"
"It just seems like something you would say."

This is my life. I say biznitch and enjoy making plans with my grandma to get wasted in Canada. w00t.

I Know One Day We Will Sleep For Days

I had some massivly fricked up dreams last night.

1. I kiss a tall blonde guy, but no, not the one you are thinking of. Not any of you. You are all wrong. It was totally uncalled for. I was reading in bed this morning and wham! I remembered it. It was actually kind of funny because he told me I did it wrong.
2. This other dream wasn't bad at all, it was just odd. I must be reading way too much. I was in the car with my mom and she pulls up to this house I've never seen before and we go in and there is the guy I like and his whole family. Turns out he and his sister are some...I don't really know the word for it. Like not human......I don't know...spirit things....guardians sorta....I'm as lost as you are. My mother totally loves the lot of them and is mad I never told her. Yeah we know where this dream is going.

Second Chances, They Don't Ever Matter. People Never Change

Ok, so most of us are unaware of what I'm about to talk about. I'm not going into details, this is more about how I feel than what actually happened.

2 1/2 ish years ago something happened to me, and I was devastated. Honestly, truthfully, whole-heartedly (or broken-heartedly) devastated. I lost a brother, a best friend, and an ally. He was in all aspects of my life. He was family and friend, protector and counselor. Sure we acted like idiots most of the time, but he had my back. Or so I thought.

I thought, foolishly, that when he got his act together, we would be together again. I was so wrong. He has since cleaned up and grown up and I'm still alone. Sure there are other people in his same position, but they just aren't the same. I see him every so often and wish with everything I am that he would just come over. I want to forgive him, I want to be friends with him again. It kills me everytime I see him that I can't run up and hug him anymore because we are both too stubborn.

May will be the 3rd anniversary of the day we parted ways. If we haven't reconiled by then, I don't know if we ever will. It's making me lonely.

Everybody's Gonna Love Today, Love Today, Love Today

I'm doing laundry and I think I just might have found the cure for everything. I know, I know, you are very welcome. No charge, I assure you. Just go do your laundry. and blog. Do that too. It feels great. Laundry and blogs. Jesus. Crack. yeah.......

Seriously, what else do we need in life more than clean underwear and getting our thoughts out of our brains? not much, that's what. psh, food is for losers. Sure my room still looks like I sleep with pigs, but do I care? Not at all because I have clean clothes and you know what I think about it. Genius. :D

Narcissism!

Changed up the look today. I'll probably be playing around with it for a while. I would love love love thoughts and ideas, if you dont mind. Comment at will.

Is it too white? I'm concerned.

Run Away Runaway

So I stayed home today to clean my room and officially look like a hobo like everyone should when they stay home for spring break. Jeans, t-shirt, random shoes kind of look today. My mom goes, "What do you look so cute for?" ummmm, I don't? Similar comments from my stepdad on Saturday when I spent the night with my family.

Of course there weren't any "you look so good"s when I dressed up on Easter.

that's wack. wiggety wack.

Mother Superior Jumped the Gun

Math and Quilts

These woman combined 2 things I love, that's crazy bananas!

and my sister and I are going to be doing a blog together. It's called Duck Lip.

The Luckiest by Ben Folds Five

Love it, thought I should share.

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest
What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?
And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest
I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you
Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away
I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

A Good Person Somewhere Inside

So this marvelous weekend the fam and I sojourned up north to Lake Geneva, or more accuratly Lake Delaven. Some things of interest should be mentioned:

1. My sister and I decided to get all retro (at least as far as our short lives go) and wore matching dresses like our mom used to force us into as a little joke for her. I must say we were smokin'. My shoes were Purple. Hers were slightly slutty and way 40's, I will own them shortly.
2. My cousin is so quiet, even when he talks to me. I would say it cuts but I really can't say it does. It's just him. He is like a duck. Very tranquil as far as you can see, but working so hard under the surface. I like that this has finally dawned on me after 18 1/2 years.
3. My grandpa is a slightly racist, double-standard having southerner. Still love him. Wierd.
4. No R&R when on vacation.
5. I felt pretty for the first time in a long time.
6. I dislike my parents more and more and I should be way out of that angsty teen phase thing. We are just so different and the difference grows with time. Shouldn't it be gettng smaller?
7. I say hi to housekeepers and maintainance workers becuase I like them better than snooty guests and hostesses

We Don't Really Want to Kill Anybody, We're Actually Pretty Nice Guys

So periods are funny. Not so much the actual thing, but what they do. I think it's genius. Women naturally synch up with the other women around them. Sports teams, groups of friends, mothers and daughters all totally synchronized.

Perhaps, slowly, we are all synching up to overthrow Man's "dominance" in our lives. That one third week we'll all just rise up in the peak of moodiness, fed up with everything and take over the world like we deserve.

Perhaps. Watch out.

You've Got a Modern Loft, and a New Tattoo of Your Own Name

Stuff I realized today:

• As much as cardio activity is annoying to do, it feels GREAT later
• If socks cover my ankles, they sure as hell better cover my entire calf, or I'll fold them down.
• I enjoy my ankle bones, and the scars that float above them.
• I love drama, and art. despite the crazies that flock to both.
• I miss reading more and more the less I do it.
• I only like the Beatles as adapted in Across the Universe and I feel like a musical idiot because of it.
• Molly does crack, but she might just naturally produce it in her body. glands or some shit.
• Brothers are better than sisters for everyday uses, but sisters are like connected to your soul.
• I'm translating Hamlet into ghetto, and I'm not even concerned that it will be a bastard abomination.

Welcome to the Jungle

For four years, I've worked in the Drama Department and this year I decided to take on a role of great responsibility. I'm not complaining, I'm actually a little amazed about what happened yesterday and will continue on to today.

We had our costume parade. Today and yesterday are basically the days that the director of the production critiques and reviews all the choices I (and my crew) have made. It's slightly frustrating, but all in all, its very useful for me as a chief. (plus I love the satisfaction I get from giving that "I told you so" look to the moderators who overrided my choices)

Important things come up like how half the Ensemble is missing character shoes, yay, or how one girl has half a dress. that was exciting. I am, however, extremely proud of the progress we've made. The production is Kiss Me Kate, a big deal for our little group. All the costume changes and period pieces were hard to organize, but we have almost all of it finished.

I think it's the only time I've ever heard a guy go, "I'm so sick of racks."

P.S. Anne is making a thesis for her blockage

You Can Only Move As Fast As Who's In Front Of You

So today at school we had stations of the cross. For all those non-Christians out there it's basically the reenactment and/or story telling of Jesus' Passion and crucifixion. This is basic stuff for a Catholic school kid. I wasn't surprised when they said we had an assembly for it. To be totally clear, I go to a Catholic school, but that doesn't mean that everyone who goes to my school is Catholic.

Like always, I'm sitting with my friends in the senior section and the choir starts singing "Were You There?" It goes "were you there when they crucified my lord?" My friend (athiest) goes, "nope," and turns to me, "were you?" in a sarcastic tone. This really got to me.

I never judge anyone by their religion, or anything else but their actions. The fact that she sat next to me and basically mocked one of the most solemn moments in my religion irked me like you would never beleive. When I didn't answer her she repeated the question and I just looked up and gave her a half smile. I wasn't going to bitch her out in the middle of churchnasium.

This has never happened to me before. Of course I've gotten crap for being Catholic, but never have I been so hurt by it. Maybe because she is my friend and she knows why I beleive what I do. Maybe because I just expect my friends to respect me.

To the uneducated observer, you could almost call my beleif system moral relativism. It's not. There are standards I hold all people to, but they aren't specifically because of my faith. They are basic moral codes that (almost) all faiths subscribe to. I don't judge others by what they beleive in and I expect people to get to know me before they pass judgements on me. It just doesn't seem fair that after years of friendship, I get this.

So Hard to Be Good, It's So Hard to Be Good

Yeah, I'm so sick of playing by the rules. However, I'm not quite sure rebellion suits me. More on this later.

Whatever it is, Spit it Into a Bottle and Sell it to Me.

cantelope - molly
apple - megan
boob - dee
bear - mike g
book - jen
hamster - kevin
fish - david
cat - mike d
book - ashley
dog - ally
Sean - dan
Dan - sean
computer - Mrs. Lach
Jesus - matthew
cat - tom
cat - nate
gun - ben
marshmellow - alexa

so i was bored in free period so i decided to ask people to name a noun and this is what these clever folks came up with.

My Sweetest Downfall

Life Pros:

• I'm alive
• I laugh alot
• I'm loved
• my hair is getting longer
• I figured out who my friends are
• my art project looks boss
• I'm reading some good books
• my family is around, and there for me. (even if they piss me off with concern)
• my spring break will be awesome no matter what happens
• it's getting warm out
• I'm home alone

Life Cons:

• I'm sick (again)
• someone is telling secrets
• I'm behind in school
• I dont have my own car anymore
• I'm poor
• my room is messy
• I dont know where I'm going to school
• I'm home alone