When Will it Stop?

Ok, so I have this problem with saying no. I don't like to let people down so I tend to pile a lot on my plate without thinking. Like I posted before, I got a full time job. I also took on a side job at a podiatrist office on my days off so I could get some experience in the field.

It turns out this podiatrist needs some new forms and documents made up because hers are out of date. I volunteered my layout skills and my new software for the job.

Later, my boyfriend's mom got to talking with me (for the first real time) about how her friends are doing an opera and how she's doing the costumes and can I sew? So like an idiot (or a girl looking for her boyfriend's mother's approval) I told her about my costume experience and how I have my own machine. So she delegates a few costumes to me.

Don't forget, I am still in school. None of this would be a problem if I didn't have to worry about my family. We just had a death in the family and I want to be with them to make sure they are ok. Also, I just learned that one of my high school classmates died tragically.

Both of these deaths have had different effects on me. My step-grandma's death was bittersweet. She suffered for so long, both physically and emotionally. I know she was never the same after her husband died and then her long battles with mental illness and physical illness took their toll. Now she is back with her husband and out of pain. What really pains me about all of this is how her children and immediate family are acting.

You would think that they are looking to blame her death on each other when it was really just her time. They all want control over the little things instead of comforting each other in this time.

Then there is my high school classmate. He was such a sweet, personable guy. His death could have been 100% prevented. It just goes to show how fragile our lives really are. He was so young, and I am completely shocked.

As if that wasn't enough, but my boyfriend was attacked by his brother for no reason. I think his brother is a little paranoid. I keep making him come over because I don't want him around his brother. He has enough on his plate with a medical mystery, he doesn't need a psycho beating on him every other day.

I'm a touch overwhelmed.

If It's Not Rough, It Isn't Fun

I have a pretty slow job so I spend a lot of time distracting myself. Today I read 256 pages of Textsfromlastnight.com. I read an entire book yesterday and I wasn't prepared with another. No time for a book run.

Did you know that there are ipod vibrators? I thought TFLN just ran run-of-the-mill American Apparel ads. It's not that my world was rocked, but my mind was blown. I didn't know we were living in this world.

I have an 11 hour shift today. There is only so much cleaning I can do to distract myself. I've had 3 customers today.

I'm losing it. Fast.

Send good books.

Help.

One and One Makes Two, Two and One Make Three

Last night, I had not one, but two near accidents. The first happened while I was on my way to meet my boyfriend for dinner on his break. It was pouring buckets of rain. I came up to a red light near his work and a bolt of lightening shot down and struck the light pole right next to me. It startled me so much I was shaking all the way to pick him up.

After dinner I had relaxed and put the lightning behind me. As I was leaving the parking lot, a small bus hauled ass around the corner of the building and I had to slam on the brakes to avoid a head on collision.

During my brief but nervous ride home, I kept wondering what else was going to go wrong tonight. These things come in threes, as they say. I did make it home without any more incident. I was glad to be home, in my bed.

I'll Show You What This Girl Can Do

I just started this job. It's a little different than the jobs I've had before. I don't like starting new jobs because I don't like the feeling of not knowing everything. I want to help everyone that comes in with their problem, but I can't because I'm so fresh. It's not like my old job. If I messed up there I could just give them a credit or a free rental. Here, one mistake could end up costing someone a lot of money.

I can use a cell phone. I know how to change things and some basic troubleshooting, but sometimes I am completely lost and even searching through the phone doesn't work. Then I look stupid.

Despite my apprehensions, I intend to give this job 100%. I want to succeed. I am scared a little, but I've always felt this way before and I always became very successful. I just need to keep reminding myself to relax. I can do this.

Do You Remember the Nights We'd Stay Up Just Laughing?

Do you remember the nights when your biggest concern was how many constellations you could name? Those nights that you never got tired? You talked for hours with your best friend or lover or family member. You made deep connections and slept soundly. Your schedule was nonexistent. You could lay in the grass under a shady tree and think about what things meant.

I remember those days before paychecks and bills. It wasn't so long ago. I spend time trying to regain my carefree youth. You know what is beautiful? A breeze. Sun filtering through leaves. Soft blades of grass against your skin.

I miss the days of Vans sneakers and IBC root beer.

Brighter Than Sunshine

Yeah, I read 2 books in 2 days. What of it?

So Baby, Make a Move

So I've been working at my new full-time job at a major wireless carrier as a sales rep for 2 weeks now. Today is going to be the first day that I'll be alone there. I'm not nervous at all. Most of the people that come in are really nice and they know a lot about us already. (Aside from this one super racist cab driver that came in)

As much as I enjoy the job, it's not really in my field. I have another friend whose aunt is a doctor and she needs some help 1 or 2 days a week with paperwork. I've agreed to help out on my days off so that I can get a little tiny bit of experience in the healthcare field.

I feel like I'm checking a lot off my life to-do list. I got a MacBook for my birthday, I got a full-time job, I have active plans to move out, I got a sweet new Droid phone, I'm going to school, and I'm saving to buy a car. My sister actually yelled at me and told my I was being ridiculous for "fixing my life so fast." She was actually mad at me for taking control of my life.

My mom gets mad at me, too, for watching my own back. She thinks that I don't care about anyone else in my house. I told her that I do, but if I don't make sure I get what I need (i.e. a ride to work/school) then no one else will. She doesn't like that at all.

I am feeling good right now. Maybe I'm moving forward.

Don't Be Surprised

So I was checking out my stats tab today and guess what I saw?

SOMEONE FROM AFGHANISTAN READ MY BLOG (OR AT LEAST CAME ACROSS MY PAGE)

HI! This is so exciting. I didn't think anyone read this, let alone someone from so far away.

So I'm done nerding out. Haha.

**EDIT**

Ok, so maybe this stats tab viewing has been way overdue. It looks like outside the US and Afghanistan, there have also been viewers from the UK and South Korea! I'm very surprised and excited. :)

I Had it All but Not What I Wanted

Have you ever heard that it take half the length of a relationship up to get over the break up? I have heard that so many times, and I know people who can say that it took them half the time or less to get over their ex and the break up. I don't know if I'm just detached, but I can honestly say I'm completely over it.

I had actually thought about this before and I wondered which break up would be the one that set the rule - the romantic or the friendship. Would it take me 15 months or 3 and half years? I guess it was 15 months.

I've at least come to peace about everything, that's not to say that I'm going to call anyone up for a blissful reunion or anything. I remember the days I would cry when I came across something that reminded me of either of them. I didn't go out to my fire pit and burn all the reminders or anything, but I've moved forward.

It kind of surprises me that some random old wives tale is true, but I'm not going to knock it.