Another Turning Point

I've realized today that this little portion of my life, this summer, is the doorway. I'm not in high school or college. I'm crossing that threshhold in my life. Obviously it's not the only one, and I'm not the only one in one. It's just wierd to be totally undefined by an institution, even for a short period of time.

Now If She Does It Like This Will You Do It Like That?

I've noticed that when you go through one major life milestone people start to ask about all your other ones. Probably because these are cause for reconnection. Since my recent graduation people have been peppering me with questions.

1. Where are you going?
2. What are you studying?
3. Why? Why? Why?
4. What do you want to do?
5. Why do you have so much attitude?
6. So are you engaged yet? (interesting, to me anyway)
7. Do you have a boyfriend?
8. Do you have a job?
9. Where?
10. How much do you make?
11. Why are you still there?

What sort of rights do they think they have? I find it quite interesting that people I rarely or never talk to feel themselves to be worthy of the details of my life. Oh and it gets better. They have an opinion on all of it. That's the kicker.

Sometimes I wonder if somewhere someone decided I owe some allegiance to these people. Like I have to pay them a tithing of my life. Like they have some kind of ownership of me. Obviously human beings are relational and perhaps they are trying to cultivate some kind of rapport with me, but when I tell them all of this and they form an opinion, it's all for nothing. They go home after the cake and presents and forget or write off the events of the day. Or even better. They pass on everything to people I am 100% sure I have no ties to. Days later, I get some report from my mom of my aunt's coworker's daughter's life and how it relates to mine and what I should do similarly/differently to hers.

I know what you are waiting for, though. You want the answers too, right? Of course, human beings are curious. So here goes.

1. Harper College
2. Something math related, or science.
3. I'm good at it.
4. I want to be a doctor one day.
5. It's both a defense mechanism and a source of entertainment for me.
6. No. Although that would make my life so Days of our Lives it's not even funny.
7. Nope. Not for lack of effort.
8. Yeah.
9. A movie theatre.
10. $7.50 an hour.
11. How should I know? My friends I guess.

Why Won't You Have ... Me?

You Know:

S.O.S. Please, Someone Help Me

Ok, if you've ever seen Dane Cook's bit about the DMV, you'll understand the last 3 hellish days of my life. Just in case you haven't seen it, I'll provide it. You know that feeling he describes at about 57 seconds? Yeah. Imagine that for about 8 hours.




It's over and I'm $436.50 richer for 3 days of work. When they ask me to come back next year, I'm just going to throw my head back, laugh, and hang up. No Second Thoughts.

Without the Sour the Sweet Wouldn't Taste

Alright school's officially out and I've lost that "Leaping Lizards, It's Summer" feeling. That's not to say I'm unhappy with my summer, I'm just being much more responsible than I envisioned. For example, I have a 40+ hour work week, but I get to play with kids all day. Crazy kids, but kids none the less. Or. It's hot as hades outside, but the storms are so wonderful I could lay out in the rain for hours.

Also, I've discovered that cleaning is very cathartic. I've never enjoyed organizing so much in my entire life. In this magical sea of discoveries, I've also noticed that I have way too many shoes. It's nearing disgusting. They are all, of course, beautiful shoes, but there are just so many. I've created quite the Goodwill pile as well. Lots of clothes. Not nasty old gross clothes, alot of them are nearly brand new. Which disgusts me even more that I never wore them. Some thrifty cool person will buy them and enjoy them, I'm sure.

In addition, I have sunburn. It doesn't hurt, but it does feel like it's officially completely summer. So tommorow I'll have some sweet tan lines and feel all teenagery. Speaking of, I need some teenager time. I am either surrounded by kids or adults. Where are all my peeps?

Party tommorow! I need to go clean...pish.

Born Free, As Free As the Wind Blows

Ok, this is it. I'm fresh out of high school. 30 mins fresh. Graduation is just a superficial gift to the people who paid $30,000 over the course of 4 years so I could go to school.

Happiness is a Warm Gun

I'm beyond ready to get the hell out of my house. I need some money and some roomies and then a dash of freeedom. That's right, 3 e's. Excellent, eccentric, and maybe eggs.

I think we can both agree that this week is slowly ending my abilities to have thought. Send Diet Coke.

*angsty sigh*

Left Me No Choice But To Stay

I see this kid everyday. I noticed him a while back and I find him absolutly intriguing. No, I've never met him and I don't know his name. I just can't help but notice him; which is completly not what he wants. I can tell. The way he dresses, the way he acts. He looks like he just wants to fall into the walls and be left alone, unnoticed. By and large he is unnoticed because he is an underclassmen. The thing is, he is so beautiful. Handsome would be the wrong word here. He is just beautiful in the most honest sense of the word. I'm not attracted to him, but I just want to know about him. I know it sounds really wierd, but I can't explain it any better than this.

The Beautiful People

I kind of want my tongue pierced.


But I have lots of body mod whims like that.


But I liiiiiike it.


hmm.


EDIT: I think I just like being pierced. And taking my parents right to that comfortable-uncomfortable line. Mostly I like the getting pierced part though. It feels....good?

I'm not a masochist, I swear!

I Think We Have an Emergency

IF you post a comment, leave a name or something. I like to know who is reading this. It's cool if you are a stranger, Thank You! I just like to know.

Yes. This means you...yeah you...I can see your comments. Tell me who you are. We should be buds.

or be a jackass like that, you know, its cool.

To Where You Are

Today the world lost a great asset. That's all there is to it.

One of the greatest teachers my school has ever seen died this morning after being ill on and off for years. He was my freshmen year homeroom teacher, his last homeroom. I dont know why, but he took a liking to me that year. Ever since if he saw me in the hallway he would say, "How's it goin' Kate?" He was the only teacher who I ever told to called me that after the first time I asked him to. It took them time to get to know me, but he made sure he pinned me the first day and I respect that. He never missed a beat either. If I was having an off day, he always made sure to talk to me. He was a caring man, and alot of people didnt realize that. He came off so gruff and angry that few people saw the guardian that he was. Everything that man did was all for someone else. I never saw him do one selfish thing in four years. If you were slipping in his class he made sure you caught up, if you were doing well he made sure you knew he knew.

Losing him is going to be one of the greatest losses this institution has or will ever face. There are no replacements, no equals. He cared with every bone in his intimidating, loving body. He was a coach, a mentor, a teacher, an ally and a friend. I will miss him and I know how much the incoming freshmen will be missing out on.

I decided I'm not going to cry or fall apart. He wouldnt have thought that was right. Maybe I should just go sit on someone in his memory. :D

There's Things You Need to Hear

I (am):

1. Female, I think this explains alot.
2. 5'8"
3. Brunette?
4. Blue-eyed
5. Emotional. Alot of the time. Do I hide it well?
6. Always thinking. Much more than I talk, so you can imagine how much that is.
7. Secretive.
8. Ambitious.
9. Lazy.
10. Conflicting.
11. Relational.
12. Sassssssssy.
13. Love everyone, way too much, even if they don't deserve it.
14. Judge people in my mind, but when others do it verbally, I defend the victim. I feel this justifies it sometimes.
15. All I want to do is be myself.
16. Want others to always be honest, even if it would hurt me. Because I have to know.
17. Like to know everything.
18. Obnoxious, endearing?
19. Care about you.
20. Want to break all the rules, but I never break one.
21. Don't watch TV anymore.
22. Work at a movie theatre. I hate it most of the time, but I can't leave my friends. I have no hope of being promoted.
23. Love kids.
24. Have a look in my eye.
25. Seem more clever than I am, or vastly less intelligent than I am. No one really comprehends my mental capacities.

If you think of any more things about me, comment them. I Love To Know. (#16)